Resthaven Gardens of Memory & Funeral Home


Writing Thank You Notes after a Funeral

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Published: february 13, 2019 by Ask The Director

While it may be difficult to find the energy to write a thank you note after a funeral, doing so is an important way of acknowledging the love and kindness that friends and family members have shown you during this challenging period in your life. There is no set deadline when it comes to sending out thank you cards, though getting them out within two to three weeks after the funeral is ideal.

Types of written acknowledgments commonly used.

For simplicity, there are many sympathy acknowledgment cards that are printed with verses appropriate for the given situation. Others may find that a blank note card is a great way to express thoughts, as the individuals can write special messages for each recipient. Individuals may also order formal, customized cards to make distribution easier, without taking away from sentiment. The funeral home can assist with these options.

Who should receive a thank you card?

Crucially, these are real diamonds—not just knickknacks that are made to look "fancy." A good cremation diamond company will guarantee a final product that is authenticated, graded, and identified by skilled jewelers or gemologists. That means that cremation diamonds have real value, and not just sentimental.

With that said, the apparent appeal of cremation diamonds is that it allows you to take a loved one’s legacy and turn it into something beautiful and precious—something that is sure to become a cherished family heirloom.

One final note about cremation diamonds is that they can be made with just a small quantity of ashes—meaning that multiple diamonds can be made, or ashes can be left over for other keepsakes or for memorialization in an urn.

There are plenty of options for unique and beautiful cremation diamonds—so if you’ve sought an elegant way to keep your loved one’s memory close at hand, it may be worth looking into. As always, you can ask your funeral director for specific recommendations.

Turn Cremated Remains into Dazzling Diamonds

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Published: february 7, 2019 by Ask The Director

One of the advantages of cremation is that it allows for many different forms of memorialization. For instance, when a loved one is cremated, the surviving family members may only want the remains to be placed in an urn and then honored with a place in an urn garden or columbarium. In other cases, though, they may prefer to have some of those remains turned into heirlooms or keepsakes—and one especially exciting option is the cremation diamond.

Cremation diamonds are precisely what the name suggests—beautiful, precision-cut gems that are made from cremated ashes. These diamonds can be displayed as-is or set into any kind of jewelry—rings, necklaces, bracelets, and beyond.

Crucially, these are real diamonds—not just knickknacks that are made to look "fancy." A good cremation diamond company will guarantee a final product that is authenticated, graded, and identified by skilled jewelers or gemologists. That means that cremation diamonds have real value, and not just sentimental.

With that said, the apparent appeal of cremation diamonds is that it allows you to take a loved one’s legacy and turn it into something beautiful and precious—something that is sure to become a cherished family heirloom.

One final note about cremation diamonds is that they can be made with just a small quantity of ashes—meaning that multiple diamonds can be made, or ashes can be left over for other keepsakes or for memorialization in an urn.

There are plenty of options for unique and beautiful cremation diamonds—so if you’ve sought an elegant way to keep your loved one’s memory close at hand, it may be worth looking into. As always, you can ask your funeral director for specific recommendations.

Can I Have a Traditional Service if I Choose Cremation?

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Published: January 30, 2019 by Ask The Director

One of the most common misconceptions about cremation is that it precludes a traditional memorial service. Nothing could be further from the truth. In reality, many families ultimately choose to honor their deceased loved one with a traditional service—either before or even after the cremation of the body.

These traditional services have endured for a reason, after all: Many people find them to be comforting. That’s why even those who choose cremation may still wish to have a final viewing, a visitation or wake, and then a funeral service.

In some instances, the body can be cremated before the funeral service takes place; the cremated remains are then placed into the urn, which can be displayed at the service, in place of a casket. Following the service, there can be a gravesite service as the urn is either buried or placed into a columbarium. Alternatively, the family may simply wish to take the urn with them, leaving it in their home for a few days before ultimately returning it to its final resting place

Another option is to delay the cremation, allowing the body to be displayed for a final viewing and then a visitation and funeral service. In other words, it can be just like any other traditional memorial—except rather than being buried, the body is taken away for cremation.

Most funeral homes will be more than willing to provide your family with whatever arrangement you find most meaningful, or most in line with the deceased’s wishes. If that means cremation and traditional funeral services, that’s perfectly doable. As always, speak with your funeral director about any of the specifics.

What Happens to Someone’s Facebook Profile when they Die?

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Published: January 22, 2019 by Ask The Director

Millions of people are active on Facebook every single day. However, have you ever wondered what happens to your profile when you pass away? Does it remain frozen in time? Does it eventually disappear? As it turns out, that is up to you and your family. There are two options when it comes to handling your Facebook profile after death:

1. You can choose to have it memorialized.

You can opt-in your setting to have your profile memorialized. Doing this means that it will be locked so that no one can log in as you, but your Facebook friends can still make posts and share memories. All of your previous posts and pictures will remain intact, and this can be an excellent way of letting others reminisce and helping to keep your memory alive.

You can also choose a legacy contact, which is a person from your friend list that you designate to manage your account. They cannot log in as you or read your messages, but they can make posts, change your profile and cover photos, and respond to friend requests.

2. You can choose to have it deleted.

You may decide that once you pass away, you want your Facebook account removed entirely. In this case, your entire profile and everything you have posted will permanently be deleted. Your family can also request to have the page removed after you die but must submit a special request with Facebook that must be approved. More information on how to delete your Facebook account can be found here.

You can also request to download and archive all of the information from your account, but that also must be approved by Facebook.

It can be a good idea to talk to your family ahead of time and let them know how you want your social media accounts handled and to choose the settings that align with your preferences.

How To Write a Eulogy

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Published: January 10, 2019 by Ask The Director

What is a Eulogy?

Although there are many spoken traditions in funeral services—such as the use of hymns or prayers—eulogies also play an important role in honoring the life of the deceased. Eulogies offer the speaker—and the audience—a chance to truly reflect on the departed and the memories shared with them.

Who Provides Eulogies?

Typically, eulogies are given by just one or two people who are chosen by surviving family members. Most eulogies are given by close relatives, children, friends or members of a congregation. When selecting an individual to give a eulogy, it is important to select someone who is close to the deceased and can offer genuine words on the individual’s life and memories.

How Can I Prepare for a Eulogy?

Those who are asked to deliver a eulogy may feel that there is a lot of pressure to deliver an exceptional speech. However, it is important to remember that this commemoration does not necessarily hold the speaker as the focus—as it is designed to honor the deceased. There are many ways to deliver a eulogy, and practice is recommended for those who are nervous about the speech.

It is recommended that in order to understand how their speech will play a part in the overall procession of the event, individuals speak with whoever is arranging the funeral service. Eulogies are typically brief, lasting only a few minutes.

Those preparing for a eulogy are encouraged to make an outline to deliver a smooth speech and to make sure to address the audience in order to connect with the entire crowd. Exploring a significant memory, even humorous or emotional, can be a great way to emphasize the personality and values of the deceased.

What If I Want to Give a Speech, But Was Not Asked to Give a Eulogy?

Wakes are more informal than funeral services and offer more time and flexibility for individuals to share their memories and well wishes with loved ones. While only one or two individuals may be asked to provide a eulogy at a funeral service, other loved ones may have a chance to deliver a speech at the wake.

What Cremation Terms are Important to Know?

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Published: December 27th, 2018 by Ask The Director

When a loved one dies, you’re suddenly forced to make a lot of tough decisions about cremation, burial, and memorialization. One of the biggest challenges is mastering the terminology; simply put, cremation entails a lot of "lingo" that you may be unfamiliar with. For example, what’s a columbarium?

This is a structure, typically found in a cemetery or church setting, with different compartments or niches in it for placing urns. These structures serve as mausoleums and provide a way for you to give your loved one’s cremated remains a final resting place.

Another term you might come across is cremains—and this one you can probably guess all on your own! It’s simply a portmanteau of cremated remains, that is, the "ashes" produced in the cremation process.

Disposition is the act of placing cremains in their final resting place—whether that’s in a cemetery, a memorial garden, or elsewhere. Entombment specifically refers to burial in a mausoleum. Finally, internment refers to a burial of cremated remains in the ground or in a mausoleum. This is not to be confused with inurnment, which refers to the placement of cremated remains in an urn.

An urn, of course, is simply the container in which you place cremated remains. You might memorialize this urn in your home for a season, but most of the time the urn finds its final destination in a cemetery. One final term to know is niche, which refers to the place in a columbarium where you might place your loved one’s urn.

Knowing some of these terms can help you feel more confident as you seek to make the best decisions for your loved one, or even when pre-planning your own cremation and funeral. Contact a local funeral provider for additional assistance and guidance

Announcing the Death of a Loved One

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Published: December 13th, 2018 by Ask The Director

When a loved one dies, surviving family members are faced with many responsibilities—including the responsibility to alert other friends and family members as to what has happened. In the age of social media, making a death announcement is more complicated than ever before, and it is important to approach this task with the appropriate etiquette.

An important step is to enlist the help of a funeral home director. Make sure you get planning underway before making any sort of formal announcement about the location of the funeral or memorial service. Only publish the obituary once confirmation is received about the availability of a church, funeral home, or other locations. In the obituary, you will want to specify the time and location of the memorial service, but before doing so it is critical to confirm the availability of the venue in question along with any necessary vendors, such as an officiant or caterer. This is something a funeral home director can assist in.

In addition, funeral home directors are skilled in regards to sensitivity, compassionately discussing matters related to death. During a season of grief, you may have a hard time articulating the passage of your loved one, but a funeral home director can be invaluable in helping you craft a message.

As for social media etiquette, the most important thing is to abstain from posting online until you have had a chance to speak directly with family members and other important people. Ensure that you make specific, one-on-one announcements before you make any kind of a more general update.

Telling others about the death of a loved one is never easy, but even so: Following the right protocol is important. Speak with your funeral director about any questions.

'Tis the Season for Difficult Conversations

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Published: December 5th, 2018 by Ask The Director

Nobody likes dwelling on mortality, and conversations about death tend to be "downers"—not least during the otherwise-joyful holiday season. And yet, talking candidly with your family members about end-of-life issues is imperative. And for many families, the holiday season is the best time to do it, simply because the whole family is actually together.

Consider: Should your parents pass away unexpectedly, do you know their wishes for a funeral or memorial service? Do you have a clear understanding of their desires for their estate? And should something unthinkable happen to you, will you be leaving your own kids with a clear plan—or simply with burdens?

For many families, end-of-life preparations go neglected and ignored—but simply having a conversation can be clarifying and even encouraging.

Over this holiday season, we encourage you to have "The Talk" with your family members. That doesn’t necessarily mean hammering out all the issues on the spot, but it does mean getting the conversation going—encouraging everyone to think sensitively yet strategically about end-of-life issues.

Included here is an insert that might be helpful to you—some quick tips and guidelines for starting this conversation, and for keeping it positive and productive.

Some brief bullet points to consider, even as you dip into the insert:

  • When having The Talk, it’s vital to pick a good time and a comfortable place
  • Ask questions about your parents or aging family members. Learn their story. Get them talking about what matters most to the
  • Remember to keep it collaborative and conversational. Your loved ones may have different beliefs than yours—but your point is to learn, not judge.
  • Offer help to your aging family members—help in planning, organizing, cleaning their home, sorting through their things, or whatever they need.
  • Get everyone involved—including siblings and other family members, as appropriate.
  • Be patient. People may need some time before they’re ready to start talking seriously about end-of-life details. Remember that your aim is to start the conversation.

Don’t delay in having The Talk. And don’t put it off just because of the holidays. In truth, this may be the ideal time to engage your loved ones in a conversation.

Who Gets the Priceless Treasures?

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Published: December 1st, 2018 by Ask The Director

When someone dies, there is almost always some sort of an estate left behind—typically an estate that encompasses a few priceless treasures. In some cases, these items may hold immense monetary value. In other instances, they may hold little financial value but immense sentimental import—think of family heirlooms and other handed-down treasures.

The question that always arises is, who gets to keep these items? To which surviving family member do they go? Hopefully, a will is left behind that specifies these matters. This is seldom the case, however. Specific items are usually not addressed in a will whatsoever.

It is more likely that post-it notes or handwritten memos will be found, specifying who gets which items. The problems here are twofold. For one, such notes are not legally binding. And two, they can sometimes add to the confusion, as they are not always clear and may sometimes be contradictory.

As such, it may be mandatory to get the family together to have an open dialogue about these items—to discuss who wants what and to try to reach a consensus about the fate of each family treasure.When disputes arise, it can be helpful to consider the financial worth of each item, and to try to ensure that each family member gets roughly the same value. This may seem cold, but often this level of objectivity is helpful in sorting out complicated family matters.

Finally, remember that there doesn’t need to be a rush to distribute these items—and often, the best thing to do is to wait a little while until emotions begin to cool and more rational decisions can be made.

How are a Rosary Service and a Vigil or Wake Different?

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Published: November 20, 2018 by Ask The Director

Paying tribute to your loved one may take on many different forms. Catholic families may choose to hold a rosary service, while other Christian denominations may opt for a wake. Depending on the background and preference of the deceased, as well as that of their bereaving loved ones, there may be a rosary service or wake planned to accompany the funeral.

Rosary Service

In Catholic tradition, praying the rosary is a multiple-step process, including praying many well-known prayers. They include the Apostles’ Creed, the Hail Mary, the Lord’s Prayer, and the Glory Be to the Father. In some cases, it may also include the Fatima Prayer.

The rosary service is traditionally a Catholic funeral rite that is held on the evening prior to the burial of a loved one. This service is open to anyone wishing to commemorate the deceased. The family will use this time to pray the rosary and receive visitors. The ritual may be held during a vigil service or wake.

Vigil Service or Wake

These events are typically held the evening prior to a burial. They are used to offer condolences to the grieving family and share memories of the person who has passed. Such services are frequently held at a funeral home, as they often include a viewing of the deceased. However, they were traditionally held at the home of the person who has passed.

The term "wake" originally referred to a nighttime prayer vigil. But modernly, it is used to refer to the social interactions and gathering that accompany a funeral. A wake or vigil is considered a social right, which recognizes that the loss of a person greatly impacts the group as a whole.

When preparing to honor a loved one who has passed, it is important to know what to expect of services. Consider the religious or faith background of the person who has passed, as well as that of the remaining family. Be respectful of their preferences, and consider these differences when commemorating and remembering the deceased.

The Military Funeral Service

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Published: November 12, 2018 by Ask The Director

A military funeral service is an important way to honor a person who has bravely defended and served his or her county. Military funeral traditions can actually be traced back to ancient Greece and Rome. While today’s ceremonies still incorporate some of these ideas and principles, current military funerals also have a decidedly American feel. They are full of respect and honor, and can also be a source of comfort for surviving family members and friends.

United States law now mandates the rendering of military funeral honors for an eligible veteran at the request of the family. This funeral comes at no cost to that family, courtesy of the Department of Defense. This allows the brave men and women to receive the gratitude and honor that they deserve, and is an important way of allowing the family to mourn the loss of a loved one.

At the service, you will see a flag draped over the coffin. If you are having a chapel service, the flag will be pulled away from the head of the coffin and the coffin can be open for viewing (should you so request). There should not be a spray of flowers on top of the flag. If you wish to adorn the casket with flowers, request a crescent-shaped arrangement from the florist. This is to be placed upon the open lid of the coffin at the upper left corner.

At the gravesite, a military detail (if available) will carry the coffin to the grave and prepare for honors. The honors will include details about the individual’s service (usually given by family clergy or a family friend), military rifle salute (if available), folding of the flag, presentation of the flag, and the playing of Taps. Military honors are provided to the family at no cost.

Who is eligible for a military funeral?

The following people are eligible to receive a military funeral:

  • Military members who are currently on active duty
  • Military retirees
  • Members and former members of the Selected Reserve
  • Eligible U.S. veterans
  • Veterans who served at least one term of enlistment and separated under conditions that do not include dishonorable discharge
If you have questions about how to apply to receive a military funeral for your loved one, contact us and we will be able to provide guidance on completing the process.

Whats the Difference between Funeral and Memorial Services?

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Published: November 5, 2018 by Ask The Director

As cultural norms continue to change, the way we handle the passing of loved ones also evolves. Today, there are many ways that people choose to celebrate the lives of those they care about, leading some to question the true difference between funeral services and memorial services. With the introduction of new traditions and burial practices, many professionals may use the terms "funeral" and "memorial" interchangeably. However, there are some key differences that are worth noting if you are attending or planning a funeral or memorial service.


Funerals are generally held with the presence of the deceased at the funeral home or religious center where the service is held. After the service, these remains are often buried at a determined gravesite. Funerals also have grown to incorporate cremated remains that are generally presented in an urn, which are then buried, scattered or placed in an above-ground columbarium located at a cemetery.

Memorial services may sometimes have cremated remains of the deceased present, but typically are reserved for instances where the individual has passed and their remains were not available. For example, the lives of individuals who died overseas while missing or in combat may often be remembered without the presence of the deceased at the service.


Funerals traditionally occur soon after the passing of an individual, sometimes days after one has passed away. As cremation becomes a more popular option, many have found that there is more available time to create a flexible ceremony. As such, many professionals within the industry have witnessed memorial services that occur weeks or months after the deceased has actually passed away.


Funerals are generally held at funeral homes or religious facilities that can accommodate such services. Once these services conclude, they are often followed by graveside burials that are either located at on-site burial grounds or off-site cemeteries. While modern burials may involve either cremated remains or caskets containing the deceased, funeral services still typically refer to burials that occur at cemeteries.

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